Dear Osinachi,

It has been a long time coming but you are finally here again.

This point where you thought you had derailed so far that you wondered how you would find you way back.

I’m happy you are here again and proud that you recognize this moment for what it is.

So in this very moment, I would love you to know that I forgive you.

I forgive you for being so hard on your self. For refusing to accept this forgiveness, which was made available to you from the very beginning.

I forgive you for the times you broke your promises to yourself and Abba. For choosing momentary pleasure over what truly mattered.

I forgive you for the times you caved under the pressure and found yourself in a dark hole, cowering under the piercing sting of your own judgmental gaze.

I forgive you for granting access to the wrong people and things. Access to your body; access to your mind and access to your spirit. I forgive you for granting them so much access even when you knew they had not and might never earn the right to know you so intimately.

I forgive you for not eating right, for all the times you chose to find comfort in chewing ice and making it your go-to everytime you felt overwhelmed, anxious, scared, tired and even hungry.

I forgive you for not choosing you. For not being deliberate about your peace, your happiness. For not retreating as often as you should. For staying within the noise even as it drains you.

I forgive you for rebelling. Oh! You were and still are a rebel. You rebel even when you know its all part of the grand plan. But that is part of the reason why I Love You.

I forgive you for running. Running from facing the fears that stare you clearly in the face. Running from the battles and wishing them away.

I forgive you for not being present enough. You miss the world and all the beauty unraveling before your eyes. You are blinded by your pursuit and ambition, and it has robbed you of too many beautiful moments and memories.

I forgive you for closing your heart to love for this long. Its been 6years darling. You are ready. Let love find you. Yes, you were willing to try last month and a couple of months before that, but there are no guarantees that you will not get your heart broken again. You were made to love so allow your heart do what it knows how to do best. You have more love to give than you can possibly imagine.

Osinachi, I forgive you and I welcome you.

With open arms and a more open heart. It is time you stopped living in the fear of what was and start embracing the possibilities of all that could be.

The thought alone excites me!

Dearest Osinachi – I Forgive You.